Another Mama Saga

When the holiday issue came out a few days ago of a magazine that I write for, I asked Mama if she wanted to go to the mall with me to get a copy. It was evening and Mama doesn’t normally like to get out at night – but she knew I wanted her to be with me so she complied.

I had just put a vinegar based tonic on my hair when I had thought of going out, so I pulled my hair back and threw a hat on. Mama grabbed her sweater and we were out the door. As we headed to the mall, I realized how stinky the tonic could be in a closed up area and I asked Mama if she smelled it. She said no at first, but then said, “Now I can smell it”. I thought I would just run in real quick to get the magazine and come right back out so I didn’t think I would offend anyone with my odorous hair.

I asked Mama if she wanted to go in, but she said she would just wait in the car. I locked her in so she would feel safe and I planned to just be a minute. When the bookstore had not gotten the new issue yet, I came right back out – but because it was dark, I could not find my car. I knew approximately where it was and headed toward where I had parked, but my black Jeep was camouflaged in the darkness.

I grabbed for my keys to press the lock button so that would see hear my horn and see the flashing lights. Yes… I knew. I knew after a few seconds of my plan that it just may scare Mama… but I did it anyway. I kept pushing the button and the Jeep lit up like a Christmas tree and played a loud symphony.

When I came close to the Jeep, I could see Mama through the windshield and I got the reaction that I wanted. She was looking all around her for the person that must be trying to break in and she had a worried look on her face. I casually got in the Jeep and she gave me ‘the what for’ as any southern Mama would do. “Jenny! I thought for sure someone was trying to break in and I was stuck inside! I didn’t know WHAT I was going to do!”

I couldn’t help but to laugh as I pulled the deer-in-headlights look and replied, “What? I couldn’t see the car and I had to find it…” Then Mama started laughing because she knew it was funny.  I didn’t tell her that I sort of did it on purpose, but I am sure my number one fan will read this story and give me ‘the what for’ again.

I think because I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh, my mean-streak has to do with getting people to laugh at themselves or a situation – I promise I don’t harm Mama.

We stopped at the drug store because earlier that day, Mama had gone to pick up her medicine at the drive-through and had stolen the basket from the drive-through dispensary. She didn’t mean to, but it was one of those ‘oops moments’ for her to laugh at herself for driving off with the medicine basket. When we drove up to the drive through, I returned the basket to the woman at the window and she laughed too. Isn’t laughing just great? And it spreads from one person to another – our common thread … just like music.

As we headed home I told Mama I would try to get the magazine another time and that I was sorry that it was a waited trip. Mama came out with a reply that had me laughing even more. I had forgotten about my vinegary hair until she said, “Well at least it was long enough to blow the stink off!”

Mama said that she needed a new phone and asked me to go with her. I had planned on buying her a new phone set for Christmas. I told her that since she wanted that now, then I would have to figure out something else to get her for Christmas and she said, “I just get tired of this phone by my computer not working and having to get up and go in the living room to answer the phone. I said, “Why don’t you tell all you kids to call your cell phone and just carry your cell phone around? They are the only ones who call you anyway.” She said, “Well, I get other calls too…” And I sarcastically said, “Yeah, from another country!” Quick as a whip, Mama replied back, “I know, but I want to be able to hang up on them!”